October 2003 Blog Archive
From
www.gravyboy.com
October
31, 2003
Small
talk does not come easily for me. Well, I should say serious
small talk doesn't come easily (if there is such a thing). I have
realized that most of my social skills take the form of meaningless
banter that is lost on 80% of people I meet. I submit the
following proof:
(kingbanjo
= me ;
canadal
= my friend Lee)
kingbanjo:
Lee, Don't fear the reaper
canadal:
but I do fear the reaper. :(
kingbanjo:
no no...don't
kingbanjo:
blue oyster cult says so
canadal:
oh. ok. if they say so.
kingbanjo:
they do.
kingbanjo:
so does their hair
canadal:
maybe their hair needs to visit the reaper
canadal:
& take a little off
the top
kingbanjo:
i think it could stand a little more...i dont know...umph
canadal:
do you have a compote
kingbanjo:
a who?
canadal:
a compote
kingbanjo:
what is that?
canadal:
I have no idea.
canadal:
It's being offered as a trophy at a dog show
kingbanjo:
can I make up a definition?
canadal:
Please.
kingbanjo:
Compote (n.) (Kahm-Pote)
1. A long staff or rod used for prodding or probing.
2. Barbara Walters
canadal:
:)
canadal:
Now use it in a sentence
kingbanjo:
"There no way to know what's going on in there without a compote"
kingbanjo:
You generally do not want to hear this from your doctor
canadal:
now I found something about a "fruit compote"
canadal:
Barbara Walters,
hmmm?
kingbanjo:
indeed.
kingbanjo:
you realize that this will forever be, in my head, the definition of
"compote"
canadal:
"Welcome to 20/20. Here's
your host, the compote"
kingbanjo:
she'll make you cry
kingbanjo:
when she starts prodding
kingbanjo:
and probing
kingbanjo:
Dr walters
canadal:
Have you ever had Orange Roughy Almonding?
kingbanjo:
I had a walnut try and mug me once, but he was arrested.
And this, my friends, is
why most people find it hard to get to know me.
Happy Halloween
-Brian
comments?
October
30, 2003
Josh,
from an undisclosed, email-less location writes:
"If you weren't so funny
you'd be stupid."
Yes, Josh, it's true. Humor can make the presence of even the most
mediocre mind bearable to others. Unfortunately,
it will NOT help you pass Spanish 204 or Introduction to Archeology...no
matter how many times you've watched Indiana Jones with Spanish
sub-titles.
-Brian
comments?
October
29, 2003
Last
weekend I noticed that some stores have their Christmas stuff out.
Cracker Barrel has had theirs out for at least a month and a half.
Now Lowe's and Home Depot have set out the old yuletide joy even before
the leaves of fall have finished...well, falling. This is bound to
confuse the elderly and young children. I mean, come on, it
confused me. After my trip to the prematurely Christmasfied den of
home improvement I saw, later in the week, a preview for a night of back
to back horror movies. My first reaction to the the slash fest was:
"Why are they showing horror flicks instead of Christmas shows?"
It took me a moment to orient myself as to the season I was actually in.
Apparently retail sets their clocks ahead a month and a half now.
Soon all late year
holidays will be combined into one big, happy Hallowgivingmas-time.
Santa will pass out candy door to door to all children dressed as
pilgrims and indians, while we set out milk and cookies for the jolly
old Turkey-Pumpkin to break into our houses at night and leave us lumps
of coal in our sock drawers.
It's gonna be awesome.
-Brian
comments?
October
28, 2003
We
have, here at work, one of the dumbest things I have seen lately.
A box of assorted sized rubber bands. This makes about as much
sense as buying a box of assorted sized socks. You reach in to get
some socks for your nigh-frostbitten feet only to pull out three infant
booties and an old woman's orthopedic stocking. So you dig a
little deeper until you realize that all the decent, cozy fitting socks
are laying in a heap on your dirty clothes pile. So you go buy
some more. In an assorted sizes, of course. Soon you have a
plethora of socks that you can't wear, but keep around "just in case"
you need them. But you never do.
-Brian
comments?
October
27, 2003
Does
it seem odd to you that we can't carry weapons around public places, but
yet can go to Lowe's to buy an axe, wandering aimlessly between the axe
section and the register with it in our hands? I meandered through the
aisles Saturday and received many second looks from employees and fellow
customers alike. It also seems to me that Lowe's would be a stupid place
to try and rob as well, what with there being an abundance of cutting
tools and blunt objects every five feet.
-Brian
comments?
October
24, 2003
Words
are good. Words help us label things. When we label things,
we can understand better what they are and cope with them.
With that said, this is
the
man I work for (I have highlighted the relevant parts):
Antisocial Personality Disorder: Overview
Antisocial Personality
Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. The numbers
of persons with this disorder are much higher than generally thought,
with nearly 6% of men and over 1% of women having this disorder.
The criteria for this disorder
require an ongoing disregard for the rights of others, since
the age of 15 years. Some examples of this disregard are reckless
disregard for the safety of themselves or others,
failure to conform to social
norms with respect to lawful behaviors, deceitfulness such as repeated
lying or deceit for personal profit or pleasure, and lack of remorse
for actions that hurt other people in any way. Additionally,
they must have evidenced a Conduct Disorder before the age of 15
years, and must be at least 18 years old to receive this diagnosis.
People with this disorder
appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them,
these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever
necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without
depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate
ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these
weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or
intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so.
They appear to be incapable of
any true emotions, from love to shame to guilt. They are quick to
anger, but just as quick to let it go, without holding grudges. No
matter what emotion they state they have, it has no bearing on their
future actions or attitudes.
The rarely are able to have
jobs that last for any length of time, as
they become easily bored,
instead needing constant change.
They live for the moment,
forgetting the past, and not planning the future, not thinking ahead
what consequences their actions will have.
They want immediate rewards
and gratification.
There currently is no form of
psychotherapy that works with those with antisocial personality
disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire to change
themselves, which is a prerequisite. No medication is available
either. The only treatment is the prevention of the disorder in the
early stages, when a child first begins to show the symptoms of
conduct disorder.
And the word for the day
is:
sociopath.
My favorite part is the
last paragraph where it says "...the only treatment is the prevention of
the disorder in the early stages..." Oh well.
-Brian
comments?
October
23, 2003
Every
man has his kryptonite, and mine is Caffeine. Caffeine used to be
a good friend of mine. In college, me and Caffeine would hang out
all day long enjoying a Dr. Pepper together, the occasional five cups of
coffee, or perhaps some chocolate. Yes sir, good times...good
times, indeed. We even stayed close after graduation and ventured
out together into the "real" world of corporate America, where
Caffeine
saw me through many a cold, cold morning and long, repetitive days.
But somewhere in our
relationship, Caffeine became more demanding. Our relationship:
self-destructive. It was time to cut ties and find new friends.
I told Caffeine it wasn't him, it was me. So we split. The
first few weeks were rough, but slowly I began to realize just how much
anxiety Caffeine had caused me. In the coming months, we ran into
each other, usually at restaurants, and, in the social nature of the
setting it seemed harmless enough to interact a little. But it was
always the same routine. Caffeine butters me up with warm fuzzies,
then, without warning, BAM! stabs me in the back.
"Never again!" I
would think each time. But after a decent break of stable life I'd
always think I was too strong to be influenced.
I saw Caffeine again
yesterday. We spent the whole day together. Just like old
times. Once again I find myself a shell of a man because of my old
companion. You see, Caffeine sees sleep as something to be mocked,
or ignored altogether. And once again, I succumb to his twisted
logic.
It is 9:40 AM. I am
at work. I have been up since 7:00 AM.... YESTERDAY MORNING.
Curse you, Caffeine, curse
you. We're through.
-Brian
comments?
October
22, 2003
I
headed to lunch with seven dollars in my pocket and a book in my hand.
Leaving a bit later than usual, I decided to go to the local (insert
random initial) & (insert second random initial) Cafeteria and, as
suspected, did not beat the rush. The line was not unbearably long
and did give time to allow my mind to wander and before long I began to
have some good ideas.
"I should write about
that." I thought, and before long another idea made it's home next
to that one until my head was a brimming and simmering stew of subject
matter. At the table I wrestled the white meat off of a piece of
baked chicken with one hand, keeping my place in my book with the other,
as the ideas began to mature and procreate until I had enough fodder for
a month's worth of writing. A few nuggets, I thought, would have
made fairly decent entries (of some depth) on 'tales off the drawing
board'.
Then the book started to
get really interesting. I glanced at my watch, trying to squeeze as
many minutes as possible out of a measly one-hour lunch, until I was
finally in
the red and forced to stop in mid-literate bliss.
So, I have returned from
lunching only to find that the ideas I brought to the table were left
there. I have recreated the scene in my mind, searching for some
visual cue to trigger my imagination or memory of those wonderful ideas
that fueled my desire to write this afternoon. But all I can think is,
"That sure was some good chicken."
Meanwhile, my PDA
sleeps, unused, in my right pocket.
-Brian
comments?
October
21, 2003
Wow,
huge progress on my massive get-my-studio-in-order project. As it
turns out, there is carpet on the floor underneath all those boxes.
Who knew? If I could leave work everyday at noon I'd really get
something accomplished.
Of course, if that were
the case I wouldn't be able to afford a house with room for a studio.
Ah, life's little quirks.
Lately, I have taken up
chess. It had always been to me, until recently, a mysterious and
complicated game. It's not as mysterious as I once thought it, but
I have yet to wrap my brain around the complexity of it all. I
think I'm making better moves, but I can't tell you why I'm
making better moves. I only have one regular opponent who I, after
roughly 20 or so games, have yet to beat, but am starting to delay his
checkmate more and more. Our weekday afternoons usually find us in
an online match, which is harder (and not as fun) than playing face to
face, but gives good practice at both the game and our abilities to
quickly minimize the game window. Anyone up for a game? My feeble
skills are a guaranteed self-esteem booster...for my opponent.
-Brian
comments?
October
20, 2003
I
spent last night trying to sort through some of the boxes sitting in my
studio. I've reached that point in life where my mom decided that,
since I'm married and have a house of my own, I should have all the crap I
was storing at her house. Fair enough. Man, do I have a lot of
crap. Most of it I can't bear to part with. Each little
nick-knack is a mental key, opening doors to things not remembered in
years, sometimes not since the memory was made. To me, parting with
these things is like throwing away access to childhood memories.
This is why I have a hard time throwing things away.
So as I was sorting through my childhood and adolescence, I threw a Jackie
Chan movie in the DVD player. I suddenly had the craving for a pint
of chicken fried rice. I'm way too easily influenced. So
I found myself, 10 minutes later, standing in the Chinese place down the
road ordering my dinner. I guess it's good that I didn't watch
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I'd be craving chilled monkey
brains and beetles.
-Brian
comments?
October
17, 2003
If
my time in the world has taught me one thing, then it is this: If
you walk around like you're supposed to be wherever you happen to be
walking around, people will leave you to your meandering simply because
they know no better**.
I
spent more than my share of time working in two decent sized
hotel/conference centers one of which, I believe, is also a four star golf
resort. Security? Sure they had security. Did I ever see
them do anything? Certainly. They meandered about like
everyone else in the back corridors.
I,
or you for that matter, could enter in from the loading dock and walk
around the halls of either of my former hotels and never be looked at
twice; as long as you looked like you knew where you were going.
This sparked me to wondering recently just how many other places I might
be able to wander my way through. Perhaps I can test my theory out
on some decent-sized company property some time. Preferably one
without those annoying little badges that I constantly see people at lunch
wearing. If so, I guess I'll just have to clip my drivers license
onto my belt.
**The
concept of walking like you know where you're going can also be used at
your office. Just grab a blank piece of paper and make big
strides. It doesn't matter if you're going to lunch, or the
bathroom. It looks like you have important business to tend to and
nine times out of ten you will be uninterrupted. This works.
I have used this tactic many, many times. Feel free to emulate.
-Brian
comments?
October
16, 2003
This
morning my wife rolled down her passenger side window in order to clean
the dew off. The window, which apparently had a recall on it,
broke and would not roll back up. Obviously, we had to take it in
to get it fixed right away, since we have no desire to have the car
stolen or full of water. She called in to work, talked to her
boss, and I followed her to the dealership, then dropped her off
at work. She was only twenty minutes late. Pretty good I
thought.
She
just emailed me to say that she now has a "tardy" on her permanent
record. This is, completely unacceptable to me. If you are
going to assign tardies for things beyond someone's control, you may as
well assign them at random to people who are there on time. It
makes about as much sense. Office policies are some of the most
baffling and logic-less things in existence. And they irk me
to no end.
-Brian
comments?
October
14, 2003
I spent a large portion of the day with the A/C blowing down
the wall and into my face. What a wonderful feeling. They're
installing a new fan in the men's bathroom and, as a result, have
scattered ladders and tools everywhere within the only men's room available.
It's quite unusable. So at the moment I'm cold AND I have to pee.
This post really has nothing to do with the comic, except that it's
artist, at the moment, is quite uncomfortable.
-Brian
comments?
October
9, 2003
The first week of every month contains within it a sacred
day to be received with much joy and anticipation. Comic book day.
Getting paid once a month means I buy my comic books, well, once a
month. I have, by the standards of my fellow fans, a modest number
of titles that I subscribe to. Maybe 10 or so. Some capture
my attention for a while and then lose it as writers and artists change
from title to title. Last I heard, 8 months is currently
considered a long time for an artist to remain on a book. I'm
amazed by guys who stay on for years. As a result, the quality, or
cohesiveness, of any title is subject to a wide range of craziness.
So I thought I'd offer my thoughts on some of the titles I'm reading
right now.
Green Lantern:
I was really into this a couple of years ago. I liked Kyle Rainer
as Lantern...struggling to make ends meet as a freelance artist, while
simultaneously trying to cope with the fact that he's a superhero.
Somewhere along the way, however, it just lost my interest. I
don't care what happens to him now. I think it was just after the
issue where his assistant is beaten to a pulp for being gay. Kyle
then decides to leave and go out into space to figure things out.
It just seems to have no point at the moment. I still get the
issues, but honestly have to make myself read them. My Interest
level (MIL):
.5 out of 10
Fantastic Four:
Last year at the HeroesCon
Charlotte, writer Mark Waid and artist Mike Wieringo did a panel about
their upcoming run on FF. I had never read any of the series
before, but always liked Waid's writing, so decided I'd pick it up.
Awesome stuff. I was really enjoying the stories, the characters,
everything. There recently was a fiasco with Waid being fired and
Wieringo refusing to do the title without him...but apparently they're
both back. It seems some people just like screwing with stuff,
even if it's working.
MIL: 9 out of 10
Transformers vs GI Joe:
The 80's are
back! Booyah! This is the latest incarnation of the recent
Transformers Comic comeback. I thought this was a great twist to
the two universes. The premise: Cobra finds these giant
alien robots, reprograms them into mindless slaves (all except Megatron,
who is stuck in Gun form at Cobra Commander's side). The U.S.
Military responds by forming GI Joe, a special forces team put together
to stop Cobra and this new alien menace. Only two of the robots
have managed to remain free from the fate of their race: Bumblebee and
Wheeljack. These two have remained in disguise until they finally
revealed themselves to the Joes. So far how the transformers ended
up in this state hasn't been explained. But I'm looking forward to
finding out. Incidentally, there are two series out now under the
same title. The one, mentioned above, takes place in present time.
The other, same premise, takes place in WWII.
MIL: 10 out of 10
My Confusion Level at the
two series sharing the same title with no explanation: 10 out of
10
That's all for now.
Peace out.
-Brian
comments?
October
8, 2003
So I learned the other day that Cafepress.com also does publishing.
At what they charge the only way for it to be cost effective is to do a
graphic novel/trade paperback story instead of a standard 22 page issue.
The good thing about Cafepress is that you go there, order it, and they
ship it to you. Which means one thing less I have to do.
Actually, several less things I have to do. Or pay for. The
big question is how many pages does it become a good deal? I would
also like to see a sample of something they've printed. I may just
have to eat a couple dollars and have something printed as a test.
Unless anyone can vouch for them. Anyone?
-Brian
comments?
October
5, 2003
Well, the site has been updated. All the pages aren't finished
yet, but I'm working on them. I'll upload them as soon as they're
done.
I had hoped to get a page a week done on the comic and for about a month
was hitting the groove. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten the final
text to letter the next 4 pages. Marty (the writer) is a new daddy
and his priorities are all screwy now. "I have to take care of my
baby." and "I have to make a living to pay bills to put a roof
over my baby's head." and "I have to sleep." Boohoo.
Some guys are such wusses. Anyway, I'm busy redesigning the site
while working on some commissions. There's a GravyBoy.com online
store linked above. Most likely there will be a grand total of 3
people buying off of it. But hey, if you like the story, or just
want a stupid shirt or hat or something, stop by. It's through
cafepress.com and they have a lot of new items to choose from. I
will refrain from selling the GravyBoy thong, however. That would
be wrong on many levels.
Right now there's just hat and some stickers, soon there will be
some shirts and stuff with the characters on it. You care.
-Brian
comments?