Gravyboy.com Blog Archive

January 2004 Blog Archive

From www.gravyboy.com

January 30, 2004

It was recently pointed out to me that you can use Google to search through newsgroup postings dating as far back as 1981. It's fascinating to me to read what people were talking about on the 'net in the 80's (especially since most of us think of the 'net as a far more recent invention). If this is good for nothing else, it is an interesting study into the fact that people's predictions are always flawed due to their phenomenal lack of foresight.

Brian

January 29, 2004

Why would anyone want to put Charles in Charge of their days and their nights...not to mention their wrongs and their rights?

Brian

January 28, 2004

I just finished a refreshing 4 1/2 weekend thanks to a little weather system that dumped a gracious plenty of snow and ice. I like being at home when the sun is out and I find I get a lot of things done. But now, unfortunately, it's back to the grind...or the "sit" as the case may be. Whatever.

I'm up to page 11 on GB. I'm at the halfway mark for getting issue one completed. Which leaves me debating on when to stop posting pages and forcing readers to actually buy the issue to see what happens. It doesn't make much sense to post the entire thing, only to print the same thing up to sell. But there's still something about having a physical book in your hand. I dunno. I'll try to put a little something extra in the book too. Though I don't know what at the moment.

Brian

January 26, 2004

I never have recurring dreams. What I have is recurring themes. One that I've had for a while (and had a again last night) goes something like this: I'm being chased by somebody who wants to hurt me or my friends. I turn to face them, attempting to utilize some of the martial arts I've learned. Unfortunately, I can't raise my leg fast enough to kick. All I can do is reach up with my leg and just tap them. When I really need to use some skill I can't...I completely choke. That dream sucks.

Why can't my recurring dream be the one where I realize I'm dreaming and start flying around? That one rocks.

Brian

January 20, 2004

Buying stamps is hard.

We live in a world where, for the most part, each one of us can instantly communicate with people no matter where we (or they) are in the world. We've streamlined our lives by being plugged-in, uplinked, and Wi-Fi'ed, never for an instant being unreachable or out of touch. We have reach a new age in efficiency and communication.

Yet, still, we have lines at the post office.

Today's line stretched from the counter to the front door. This wasn't just any line. This was a slooooow line. Fortunately, all I needed was stamps. This was my first mistake. Once through the front door (which simultaneously involved cutting through the sinuous line) I made my way to the stamp machine. This was my second mistake.

These machines were built with the sole purpose of making stamp-buying quick and easy. Unfortunately, the engineers of this device failed to take into consideration one important factor...it sucks. After waiting long enough to view the line actually moving the woman in front of me simply gave up. The machine was willing to offer her $4.00 credit...not $4.00 change. There was no cancel, no reset, no give-me-my-friggin'-change-I-don't-need-$20-worth-of-stamps button.

She told me to go ahead and then maybe the machine would spit out her change when I had made my purchase. But it turned out $5 (all that I had) won't buy you stamps from the machine. Which completely baffles one's mind as to why it would so stubbornly hold on to $4.

So I graciously bowed out of my intended transaction and left having miserably failed to buy stamps.

I failed to buy stamps.

I had money...I was in the post office...and I failed...to buy...stamps.

Is that possible?

Apparently.

Brian

January 19, 2004

Last month I was at the mall, trying to finish up my Christmas shopping, when I spotted people filling out entry forms for some contest. I was waiting on my wife to meet me for lunch, so with little else to do I walked over to check it out. It was a contest, or so I thought, to win a getaway weekend at a resort, as well as a chance to win a car. So I filled out a form and put it in the box.

Last night the phone rang. My name was selected to go to the resort. Really? I thought it was great until she told me the next part.

"Transportation is up to you and your wife."

What kind of contest is that? Then it dawned on me. Timeshare. Yeah, I bet my name was selected. They got me. I wasn't paying attention. I have no desire to pay my way to a high pressure sales meeting. I've got better things to do, like wonder when they're going to replace the florescent light in my warehouse office. It's dark and I'm getting slightly depressed.

Brian

January 18, 2004

Page 8 is up! I promise that page 9 won't take as long. Since it's done...and I just need to scan it in.

I spent last night playing 15 other people in Halo in a city 1 1/2 hours from here. I had to be at church at 8 this morning for a meeting. I crawled into bed last night at 4am. I feel like I'm moving through molasses right now.

Brian

January 16, 2004

Where I work there is a short little man who has pretty bad, broken English. Whenever he walks in he says, "Hallooo!" just as he opens the door. In my mind I imagine us being on a soundstage, and the audience claps and cheers as he makes his entrance. And I laugh.

He has a great sit-com entrance.

-Brian

January 14, 2004

[Classified]

Does anyone know ActionScript? I'm trying (lethargically) to learn Flash so I can do some Flash Cartoons. I'd like to do a GravyBoy cartoon at some point, but with everything else I've got going on at the moment would need help. Collaborating is always fun anyway. Anyone want to be on the Bring-GravyBoy-to Life-Team? There's no money yet, just fun. If you'd like a project to work on send me a comment. No hurry.

[\Classified]

-Brian

January 13, 2004

If I were responsible for a show called Ambush Makeover we would roam the streets tackling unsuspecting, posh-looking yuppies and forcibly dress them up like clowns.

-Brian

January 12, 2004

The Ryan Seacrest show is on right now. Somebody shoot me. Soon my whole day will be one long broadcast of pop-fodder. When do I get my own show? Then I can interview The Rock and Reba. Followed by many other great guests that begin with the letter "R". I will laugh maniacally at even the most subtle hint of humor. It worked for good day live.

-Brian

January 8, 2004

I haven't worked a full week since the week of Christmas. I'm a strong advocate for a 2 1/2 day work week. Come on, 85% of all American workers only do actual work a grand total of 20 hours a week anyway. Trust me, I know...I visit message boards. People spend most of there time escaping reality through the 'net. Why waste our precious youth? Let's just show up 20 hours a week and work hard, then go on with our lives. Needless to say, I wouldn't have made the cut in that new "reality" show with Donald Trump. Business is so boring to me.

Okay, the comic. I have another page to upload. Two actually, but the thing is it's late and I'm tired. I'll do my best to get them up next week.

Jacket Status: Still Warm.

-Brian

January 7, 2004

I just added an article to my Sanity page. I also archived December's Blog on the main page. The article I wrote was in reponse to an article by Lloyd Hart on racism in Lord of the Rings. I wrote it just to solidify my thoughts on his groundless accusations. Feel free to read...or not. It's up to you.

In other news my well-earned jacket is still keeping me very warm.

-Brian

January 6, 2004

I love seeing pictures from Mars. If you stop and think about it, we have the capability to see images from a place that mankind has never seen before. Thanks to the internet, even little old me, sequestered in a dingy warehouse, can gaze upon an alien world. Have we become so jaded that we take for granted this miracle of modern technology? How can you not find that amazing? How can you not be interested to see what another planet is like?

Now to bring us back down to earth, this week marks my fifth year at my job. That's five, count 'em: 1, 2, 3, 4, FIVE years that I've withered away in this hole. But it's all better now that I have received what I have so coveted over the years. A wonderful black jacket. Booyah! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what it's all about. Money? Nah, keep it. A raise? What's that? Who needs your practical monetary rewards for 40 waking hours a week. I'm toasty warm.

-Brian

January 3, 2004

Happy 2004! We spent the new year setting fire to Marty's front yard. His neighbor apparently celebrated by shooting a possum out of a tree. Ahh, country life. You can have your glass ball...all we need is fire and guns. Ice cream cake was an added bonus as well. Anyone have any completely unattainable resolutions? Anyone going to try and lose 180 pounds in 10 weeks? How about running that marathon you always meant to run? I've got a better one...get xbox live and get online. Then you can play with me.

-Brian