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[brian]

Out of all the infinite combinations of things in this world that could gross me out, I think I’d be hard pressed to find something worse than the combination of water and doorknobs.

With the possible exception of water and a doorknob that happens to be connected to a bathroom.

But bathroom or not, wet doorknobs are flat out freaky. What is it? Did someone just wash their hands…or did they just NOT wash their hands. Did someone lick this doorknob? It’s against the natural order of things for doorknobs to be wet. And it’s morally wrong for the doorknob on the inside of a bathroom to be found in that condition. This should be common knowledge.

Speaking of common knowledge, these kids today may not know the world is round, what a “region” is, or how a newspaper “works,” but dangit if they don’t know that the Indians grew maize and that maize is corn.

If there’s one thing that middle school drives home, it’s that. Forget geography, math, and reading. Maize…that’s what’s important. You never know when you may stumble across a native population that tries to offer you some maize. And you’d better know what maize is, and what’s more, accept it graciously. Or get ready for some heinous warfare. These aren’t games we’re playing people. Public education has a job to do. And teaching children about maize is it. Eli Whitney? The cotton gin? Old news. That’s what our teachers taught us while higher education was teaching the new generation of teachers that maize was the most important concept that any child could learn.

Just ask any failing world history student.



-Brian
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Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. - C.S. Lewis

Brian's idea of a diet consists mostly of beef jerky and cabbage shavings. -Andy